Conflicts/Disagreements
There are certain things that are
unavoidable in life due to our differences in culture, our personal world view
and also our perceptions regarding who we think we are or what we think we can
offer as individuals in various contexts.
Five years ago I had a disagreement with a
colleague at my work place. This colleague of mine thinks he is better than
every other person in the school and feels the “others” have little or nothing
to offer. It was obvious that most of us did not get along with him because of
his work attitude and ethics. I made him understand that his attitude towards
us his colleagues was not an acceptable one through my body gestures and facial
expressions I give to him because I don’t engage in verbal aggression.
Going through this week’s readings, I have
discovered that there are more appropriate ways to resolve conflicts/ disagreements
in work places and even personal ones. So one of the styles of resolving conflicts that
resonates with me is the escapists style. I like the style because Personally I
live my life trying to avoid things that can result into problems, and I feel
this will be a better approach. Obliging is also part of the escapist style,
this involves agreeing to whatever someone says in order for peace to reign.
This might not be a more appropriate way
because it is all about giving in to whatever someone wants and reducing us to
not having a say and also leads to
exploitation. I will definitely will use some of the principles of nonviolent
communication because it is all about respect for individual differences,
cultural believes and being responsive towards different needs and acceptance.
Reference:
O’Hair, D., Wiemann, Mullin, D. I., &
Teven, J. (2015). Real Communication (3rd.
ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s
Patience,
ReplyDeleteI also tend to fall into the escapist style. I like you do not like conflict and I will avoid problem causing situations sometimes at all costs. The two styles that fall under the main topic of the escapist style are avoiding and obliging. After reading the resources for this week I realized that these are styles that I also engage in. Because I do not like conflict and am afraid that people will not like me or be mad at me I tend to oblige them and just do whatever they want. There are some instances, but very few, that I will refuse to do some things but those instances usually only involve family. I guess I think that they will love me anyway and will not hold it against if I say that I do not want to do a particular thing. I also am a person that forgets very quickly when and if an altercation arises and there is a fight or argument. Many times when reminded of an argument I do not even remember what caused the argument or what the outcome was. I have learned that some people resent this also because they fell like their feelings were not expressed.
Wow. Great post this week. I have worked with many people who have presented themselves in the way you described. It is hard to move away from those first perceptions of that type of person. Our own biases and judgments get in the way. I liked your comments about forgetting an argument. I have found myself feeling that same thing. Something that was so important to me was forgotten by another.
ReplyDeletePatience, I think that we have all encountered or worked with someone that is difficult, but why wouldn't that person choose to work in an environment that resembled more of what they like to be around. I understand that the way your situation was handled may not have been ideal, but I also think that when there is one part of the party that is unwilling or just set against being open-minded or changing you may not be able to find middle ground.
ReplyDeleteI also try to avoid conflict whenever possible. However, I find myself letting others be the way they are going to be--letting them say or do whatever they are going to--and then ignoring them and doing things my own way anyway if at all possible (although I try and find a way to make them think they have won). In this way, I don't fall into confrontations but I also don't give in to other's demands.
ReplyDeletePatience,
ReplyDeleteI have had similar situation in my work place and have tried the win-win to no avail so like you Patience I think I would apply the escapists style the next time this particular co-worker and I have a conflict of interest.
Enjoyed reading your post!
When we work with so many different personalities it is almost impossible to avoid all work place conflicts, but I agree that in avoiding conflict and verbal aggression it is sometimes best to walk away. I have ended conversations before that had become unproductive. It is important to come back and attempt to resolve the initial problem.
ReplyDelete