“We Don’t Say Those Words in Class!”

Creating a rich anti-bias learning environment sets the stage for discussion and activities about racial and other physical differences and similarities. The richer the environment, the more likely children will ask questions, even in classrooms where staff and children come from similar rachial backgrounds. (Derman-Sparks & Olsen Edwards 2010 p.83).

Children are able to point out differences easily, they are able to point out the differences that exist in body types or when a body does not match the voice that comes out of it. One of my first experience of a transgender actually happened last year in the Philippines in an eatery.  My then 7 year old son noticed that the waiter sounds like a man but was dressed up like a woman. He said “Mummy is that a woman or a man, he talks like a man but looks like a woman”. Honestly I was speechless and at the same time embarrassed, I did not know what to say to him in order not to draw attention to our table.

I was actually shocked that he could notice that the voice does not match the body it was coming out from. So I decided to take his attention from it. Up till this moment I have not addressed the issue of explaining to him if the person that served us that day was either a man or a woman. I guess I am leaving in denials that such people exist. Derman-Sparks and Olsen Edwards explained, “If you can’t think what to say, are uncomfortable responding directly and matter-of-factly to an incident, or later feel you mishandled it, talk to someone you trust to explore your feeling and possible responses. Always go back to the child with your new response”.

The message I believed was sent to my child is that of an abominable question, I most have made him feel that there are certain questions that should not be asked. If I had thought of it rightfully I would have used that moment as a teachable moment to explain to him how most people born as a women or men prefer identifying themselves.

As an anti-bias early educator our job is to help children develop to their full potential, teach them to be empathetic and have respect for differences that exist in the world, and for them to embrace diversity. Be proactive and responsive to children’s questions. Look for opportunities to initiate interactions that offer children accurate information and let them try out their ideas about differences between being male or female and acting like a boy or a girl.(Derman-Sparks & Olsen Edwards 2010 p.95)

Reference:

Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J.(2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, D. C.: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).